


line my wings with coral

by RyeFo



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Bird/Human Hybrids, M/M, Selkies, Trans Eiji, Wingfic, dino's there but mainly to have ash to tell him to fuck off, it's a sad but semi-hopeful ending, just an fyi, this is very much a personal piece so there IS going to be shades of queer rejection and transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26223352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyeFo/pseuds/RyeFo
Summary: Up until I met you, my Eiji, we thought of you Avian creatures as but a myth. A fear that our schools teach those of us freshly emerged from eggs to never wander past the sea’s glassy surface, save for the stray fish that tries to leap out of our grasp. The sunlight is a Selkie’s enemy, and for you Avian who uses it as your beacon, it is our siren’s call for death.They tell us of strange creatures, with scales soft called “feathers”, who fly through the air as easily as we glide through the water. Your talons sharp as our horns, but you could pluck us away from where we would dry up from the lack of water kissing our skin.When I found you for the first time, my dear Eiji, you were nothing like those myths. You were so, so much better.(Or, where Eiji is a bird man, Ash is a fishguy, and everything kinda-sorta-maybe works out.)
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 8
Kudos: 42





	line my wings with coral

**Author's Note:**

> honestly this was a piece of writing i did for university that was heavily inspired by banana fish, so fuck it, have the edited bf version. :)

Up until I met you, my Eiji, we thought of you Avian creatures as but a myth. A fear that our schools teach those of us freshly emerged from eggs to never wander past the sea’s glassy surface, save for the stray fish that tries to leap out of our grasp. The sunlight is a Selkie’s enemy, and for you Avian who uses it as your beacon, it is our siren’s call for death.

They tell us of strange creatures, with scales soft called “feathers”, who fly through the air as easily as we glide through the water. Your talons sharp as our horns, but you could pluck us away from where we would dry up from the lack of water kissing our skin.

When I found you for the first time, my dear Eiji, you were nothing like those myths. You were so, so much better.

I wasn’t supposed to be here, as young as I was, exploring the rock pools near the human beaches. They always told us that humans would spirit us away then discard us, like the trash that floats on the ocean from their large boats. Yet, sometimes there would be treasures. Little tokens, really; coins, shells, maybe even a trinket on a little chain.

I skipped over sharp rocks, selkie coat hid from view so that my legs split from my long tail, toes making little ripples in the water. “Hm…” I pushed back some of the sand and cleaned off the little pink rocks I found in the water, before sighing. “Nothing as usual.”

I’m not sure what drew me back to this place that day. A forlorn sense of nostalgia that was never there, maybe? I know you would laugh at me if I ever told you this.

I was about to give up that day, you know until something red caught my eye. It gave me pause just long enough to see you, encroached in shadows at the back of the cave. Curious, I stepped forward, keeping my toes on the sand to quieten my movements—and when I saw you there, a tiny thing covered in odd scales (feathers, you would later correct me) and face-down in the rockpool, it made me still.

“What…” I rushed over and knelt next to you, hesitantly poking your cheek. “Are you… alive?”

Your head flopped out of the water a little, your chest rose, and I stumbled to grab you out of the water. Your eyes—they were unlike anything I’d ever seen. Black slits, strange eyelids, feathers adorning your body like scales ready to puff out. You were dazed—at least, I think you were—as you blinked slowly at me, and I back.

“Who…” You croaked, “are you?”

That single sentence, Eiji, was when you changed _everything_. 

* * *

Do you remember, Eiji? The sun was starting to set when we had our first conversation. You clammed up the moment I told you what I was, but you didn’t fly away because of your wings. I tried to bandage them; you were smart. Distrustful of me. I was all-too-willing to jump in and help something I was supposed to fear.

Yet you didn’t try and run away. You sat there, on the other side of the cave. Perhaps you fell into that gravitational pull of curiousity as I did; attracted into my orbit. I could see you sneaking glances at me as I rummaged around in my selkie coat.

You were an odd-looking thing, at least to me. You looked _almost_ human, with plush lips and bright green eyes, your torso and spindly human arms. But your legs were like if a human’s knees had been replaced with a bird’s talons; and something akin to half a beak was stuck where the nose should be. Your arms sprouted feathers, and two bright-red wings remained tucked in behind your back. Your nails were talons, your teeth sharp, tongue odd compared to mine. Smaller. I could see it clicking against your teeth.

“Do you eat fish?”

You yelped and quickly averted your eyes. “What?”

“Fish,” I repeated, holding up a dead saltwater carp. “Do you eat them? I was going to cook this.”

“I do. Why do you want to know?” Your strange eyes narrowed at me, looking at my face like a puzzle to be worked out. “You don’t eat them raw?”

I stuck my tongue out and shuddered. “ _No."_ I paused. “Well, I suppose sometimes. If we are on our solo journeys. You must eat when you travel, yeah? Can’t be picky. I, however,” I hold up a pot and dip it into the saltwater, “like to boil mine.”

“Why ask me if I eat them?”

I shot you an annoyed look that, in one word, screamed _idiot._ Your feathers puffed up—do you remember? —as you huffed. “If I am going to be stuck here with you until the tide comes in enough that I can safely swim home, I would rather you not try and steal my food. Besides,” I saw you glance at me again. “I’ve never met an Avian before. I’d like to get to know you.”

“You…” Your eyes widened. “You know what I am?”

“Of sorts. Your talons are sharp—cut this, would you?” I toss you the carp—you barely manage to catch it, but you flick out a talon and swiftly cut down its middle. I take out the bone and place the slivers into the pot to boil, crossing my legs. “We are told things about your kind. Never to go above water unless we seek human companionship, that sort of thing.”

“ _Humans?”_ You scoffed. “Really? Don’t they damage your seas?”

“As much as your skies.” I laughed and leaned on my hands. “Trust me, I’m not one for tradition.”

You seemed to contemplate this, watching as I added a few muscles to the pot. Something about the way your eyes watched me was interesting. Even today, I could not tell you the emotion that I felt—it was exhilaration mixed with anxiety, maybe.

“What are you?”

“A selkie.” My brows lifted. “Surely you know about us.”

“Well, yeah, but…” You eyed me, up and down, remember, Eiji? “You have legs. I thought you were a human, except you have weird horns on your head and scales on your face. Are you a half-human?”

 _You really are ignorant._ I sighed, before painting my lips with a smirk and untying my selkie coat from around my waist. “Watch,” I told you, standing up and letting the furry coat engulf me. Tendrils of stardust wrap around my entire being—shadows from the cave are a gift for display—as human legs sew into one long, elegant, navy-colored tail.

I sat before you, flicking my tail into the water, the remaining flecks of stardust traveling down until they look like fallen fragments of light, an ember captured in bubbles.

“See?” I grinned. “Not human.”

“Oh,” you gaped, jaw hanging low. _"Oh."_

* * *

Returning home was never fun, at least for me. I was close to adulthood now, so the Schoal I called home was something I was beginning to outgrow. Imagine, for a moment—because I never did get to show you, did I?—coral and rock structures carved into arching domes, adorned with shells and other stolen human trinkets.

Now, imagine at the center is a school for wayward youth such as I, with boarded-up entryways, and this is where I dwelled most of the time after being caught.

“Aslan,” one of the elders called. “You know you cannot keep doing this.”

Blue blood rose up from where my fingers had been pricked, repairing the small tear in my spare coat. “One more week until my independence, Golzine. I will be going on my journey then.” I plucked the needle and held it in front of my eyes, slowly poking the thread through the hole. Humans may be polluting my world, but they _did_ know how to make good tools. “Why does it matter?”

“If any humans saw you—”

“You mean, the ones _you_ haven’t prospected to pair me with when I come back? I know our numbers are dwindling, but surely my _agency_ isn’t up for sale—”

A sharp sting on the back of my head locked my jaw shut.

“ _Enough._ ” He grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eye. I never told you this, did I, Aslan? I never wanted to worry you. “Your curiousity will get you _killed,_ little conch. There are things you are never meant to see up there.”

My lips turn white as I pursed them tightly, staring at him in the eyes with a glare that I hope cooked him from the inside. He didn’t seem too bothered, tossing my head like it was trash under his sharpened nails.

“Get back to mending your coat, insolent child.”

* * *

I met you again the next week. You still had not gone up to wherever you fell; too injured, I think, or maybe you wanted to see me, too. I could see it in your eyes.

“What?”

You shook your head, continuing to stare. “You have marks on your face.”

I touch my chin, wincing at the dulled pain. _Dammit, Golzine._ “It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? Those look like bruises, but different colours. Do you have sparring matches below the sea?”

 _Sparring matches._ The innocence in those words could have made me laugh, Eiji. It did, admittedly, get a chuckle out of me. “No, sweet little thing.” My tail flicked in the water. “We do not.”

“Then someone _did_ hurt you.”

My scales puffed up on my head. “Why do you care? Stop prodding into my business.”

“ _I_ cannot move whilst I heal. _You_ did not have to come back here. So, if _anyone_ is prodding—”

“Enough.” I rummage in my coat again and procure a set of seaweed wrappings. “Come here.”

“Why?”

I shot you a dead-pan look, pointing to your wings with the other hand. “You want to get well enough to stop me prodding into your business, don’t you? This will help. It soothes injuries.”

You shuffled closer. Less hostile, I noticed. Your broken wings slowly unfurled, until they’re stretching across most of the cave. You never stopped looking at me like I was something strange as if you’d managed to stumble across a brand new colour and your mind struggled to catch up with reality. _Is my helping you truly so odd?_

You did not say anything to me, though. Neither did I feel the need to fill the air with needless talk. I cleaned your injuries with a wet cloth—you hissed at the salt entering your wounds—and wrapped up the bleeding wounds as tight as I could.

You stared down at the water, at my hands’ reflection, pursing your lips until they were practically buckled.

* * *

“You’re back again?”

It was the third night I visited you. Not in a row—even I was not that elusive—but sometimes the moonlight allows for the perfect navy shadows so I could slip out from my Shoal undetected. I launch myself from the water to the rock bed, tail still dipped in the water, the contents I was holding spilling out from my hands.

You, ever curious, peer over at the items. Your wounds weren’t bleeding as much this time. “What is this?” You ask, picking up a silver mirror and poking it. “Actually, what—what is _all_ of this?”

Delighted, I clap my hands together. “These,” I point out, “are all my treasures!”

You stare at me. “…It’s just shiny stuff.”

I deflate. “Yes?”

“You’re like a magpie.”

“A _what?_ ”

“Type of bird.” You waved your hand to dismiss the thought. “Why bring them here?”

“Competition,” I stated, picking up a beautiful rose-coloured conch. The inside had been carved out, with several holes for the purpose of music. “If my siblings found any of these, I would be forced to defend them. I don’t want to fight before I am due my freedom, so I will hide them here.”

A laugh left your lips. “You guys get that territorial over shiny stuff?”

“As much as you do for food, you greedy little thing.” Your cheeks went bright red—I remember how you wolfed down the boiled fish the first day we met. “Anyway, since you said I prod so much, I thought you could learn about me.”

“That narcissistic, are you?”

My lips split into a grin. “Deny your curiousity all you like, you cannot hide from me.”

“Alright…” There was a little playfulness to you, there. “What’s the mirror for?”

“Simple.” I folded my lap. “For looking at myself and realizing, _oh, I am indeed very pretty to look at!_ Water reflections are not nearly as nice, in my opinion. Would you not agree?”

You blinked at me, twice, then laugh so loud it echoed around the cave. You clutched your stomach and rolled back onto your still-healing wings, tears coming from your eyes.

“What is so funny? Stop _laughing_ at me!”

* * *

It was later, before I left, that I told you the real reason. The sun has begun to rise; my Shoal will be up soon, my independence a fine line between my growing curiousity about you and being void of freedom forever. I sat on the edge; my treasures stashed behind a rock.

“It was the last thing I got from my brother,” I told you, facing away from your eyes.

“What was?”

“The mirror. They say I look like him.” My hands touch the water. “So, I like to think that when I look in there, I hope he's looking back at me.”

* * *

“Okay. _Worst_ fish.”

“Easy. Pufferfish.”

“I—” You paused. “Okay, I actually agree with you on that one. Alright…” You cupped your chin and looked at me with an analytical gaze. “Favourite hobby?”

“Sewing.”

“Making clothes?” You asked before it clicked. “Oh, right, because of that weird coat that you wear.”

“It is not _weird._ ” I gripped my tail defensively. “It is just a part of my culture.”

“Sorry, sorry, wrong word choice.” You kicked your legs to sit cross-legged. “I’ve just never seen anything like it. When did you learn to make it?”

“Hm… we take our parent’s coats before adulthood, but we learn to maintain them. I like to make other things, though. Bags and such.” I rolled my eyes. “The elders do not like that I use needles instead of traditional methods.”

_I took my brothers._

_Oh, Griffin._

“Not one for tradition, are you?” The feathers on your face quivered as you laughed. With the sheen of the sun, it almost looked like they were on fire. “That’s pretty cool, though.”

I ignored the blue flush that came to my cheeks. “Well, what about you? What do you do for fun?”

“Fun?” You leaned back and rested your head on your arms. “Probably tailwind flying. Catching a strong gale and gliding.” Your gaze flitted over towards me. “If my wings heal, I’ll take you some time. I owe you that.”

“Flying…?” To be able to go about the open air, not restrained by the surface of the ocean. Not to be tethered to tradition. Now is not _that_ a thought. I remember I held my hand up toward the sky, pretending my hands could catch clouds. “That sounds… I’d like that, one day.”

* * *

I ended up spitting out a plastic bottle caught in my teeth when I went hunting, the time I saw you next. At this point, you had mostly recovered, though you still chose not to fight when I re-wrapped your wounds. You laze languidly, feet dipping in the water when I emerge.

“Hello,” you grinned at me, poking my forehead. “Caught up with the trash again?”

“Nonsense,” I said, “I have only just found you.”

You scoffed, but helped me onto the rocks regardless, picking your teeth with a stray fishbone I had brought for you. “Human trash clouding up your area, too? It’s all over the mountains where we try and perch. Frozen bodies, too.”

A shudder went down my spine. “They just abandon _bodies?”_

“There’s so many of them now, what else are they supposed to do? Upturn all the earth and kill the trees?” You paused, I paused, and you sighed. “Nope, they’re already doing that.”

It was an amicable silence this time around, with me preparing you a meal and you staring out at the ocean. I chopped _land_ vegetable—it was orange, stolen from a human farm—and added it to the boiled fish. There was something weighing heavy on your mind, now that I think back on it, but you spoke it anyway.

“You said that you were hiding all your stuff before you got your freedom, right?”

I stopped chopping and looked at you. “Yes?”

Your eyes are fixated on the ocean. “What is your _freedom?_ You being kept prisoner or something?”

“Oh, no, nothing like that.” I shook my head. “We aren’t released from our Shoal—our people’s main conclave, that is—until we reach adulthood. Then, we go on a solo journey. A pilgrimage, I suppose. We must come back with a unique coat design and change our tail’s appearance. Then we can return.”

“So, they let you out on a leash?”

I rested my hand on my head. “Perhaps you could call it that. Some find humans they love, however, and never come back. It has happened to a few of my friends already.”

“You mean you aren’t just stolen by them?”

I stuck out my tongue. “That is a disgusting stereotype. Us selkies have more agency. As if we would fall prey to _humans._ ”

_I just fell prey to my own kind._

You just hummed at that thought, feet idly kicking the water until the stray droplets catch the moonlight. “Wonder what that’s like,” you murmured. “True freedom.”

I saw fit to leave you to your thoughts.

* * *

The only night we spent side-by-side, sleeping together whilst still chained by our homes, you reached out and grabbed my hand.

“I wish we had more time,” you said.

“Why don’t we have time?”

You said nothing. I hold your hand back, gently, lacing my webbed fingers through your talons. They do not cut me, never have, never will.

“I wish I knew,” you said with a sigh. “What it was like to be free.”

Blood seeped through your bandages. My coat is half-tangled around my legs. Moonlight encompassed us both, aside from our faces.

“Is that how you define it? Is that how far your people have driven you?”

I smiled, sadly.

“I never wanted to be driven. They pushed me.”

“As did mine.”

* * *

“Aslan.”

The voice shocked me as I tried to sneak back in, heat rushing through my veins. Hesitantly, I turned my head, grimacing at the sight of Golzine glaring daggers into my eyes.

“You should be careful where you tread, little conch.” He grabbed my horn and forced me closer, jerking my head upward. His hand on my jaw _dug_ into my flesh. “You do not know what dangers lie out there.”

“I haven’t—” I choke as he squeezed tighter. “I’ve not been—”

He leaned in closer. “I know where you have been going. I know who you have been seeing. You are not that elusive, child. Always prone to wandering eyes.” Blood begins seeping from the marks he dug into me. “You are growing to wild for your own good. That Avian is dangerous.”

Something flared in my stomach; like those explosions’ humans let off in the sky when their ships capsize. _Eiji, who has been nothing but gentle and cordial?_ “The only danger, Golzine,” I spat, “is the one who claims to protect me, yet stains my skin with bruises.”

My hand grabbed his and tore it from my throat. Blue blood rose up in swirls around us, yet the stinging in my neck is nothing compared to his reaction as I glower, _“do not touch me again.”_

* * *

So now, here we are.

I rush away from my home. My coat is abandoned, I swim with legs. Away from the thousands of siblings that are in-name only, but they never bothered to ask. They never listened. They never questioned. They never interacted with me except for Golzine, crazed power-trip he held over me.

Beyond the cordials, I never had someone tease, challenge, willing to let me open up. _Eiji,_ you know that was always you. Even in these short days that I have known you, so close to my freedom, I dream of flying. I dream of making a coat so brilliantly, it will shine against your sunset wings.

So, I swim.

The water screams at me to go back, but the ocean was never something I truly embraced as my own. That cave, where my treasures lie, where you would idly play with my mirrors, my shells, _that_ was more of a home. I had someone to greet me. Someone to ask me questions.

Someone making me question what _freedom_ could mean.

I claw out of the ocean. “Eiji?” I cry out for you, looking around. Everything is cold; my treasures are still hidden, but sunset feathers are strewn about everywhere. “Eiji, are you here? I need to talk to you!”

There’s nothing but a cold, empty silence. Dread weighs me down as I start to run, feet towards the cliff where the rocks are, and—

The clouds have cleared up. Avians stand atop, hanging on and feathers buffeted in the gales. And I can see them hold you out with a hand to your throat, your brilliant wings blocking out the sun.

My eyes widen. _Eiji…?_

“Clip them,” a loud voice booms in your mother tongue. The blade they hold to your wings is enough for me to scream out and make the sky shake.

It doesn’t do anything. The blade slices through your wings, and feathers fall to the ground like rain as they discard you. Eiji, you’re plummeting, wind screeching as it tries to pull you back up and—and—

_“EIJI!”_

It’s a rush, a dash, I can’t—I can’t _see_ you Eiji, you tumbled down the cliffside, the other Avians watched, they _abandoned_ you. My feet are bleeding as I scramble to get to you, maybe I look frenzied and my heart won’t stop beating—I’ve never felt this hot in my blood, the sun is scorching me—I need to _get_ to you—

I turn a corner and dive into the ocean. She swallows me up and I battle her, arms digging into the salty brine’s flesh, eyes wide open. Where did you fall? Where _are_ you?

“Eiji? Where are you? Are you close by? Eiji,” I cry out, lifting my head above the water. “ _EIJI_!”

You don’t answer me, and I scream louder.

But I do find you, eventually. Bruised, bloodied, and barely breathing, but you’re _alive._ I rush up to you in that little cave we called home, see you slumped against the wall. Blood trickles down your back and into the ocean.

I kneel and hold your face in my hands, brushing back the remaining feathers to see into your red eyes. “Eiji?” My breathing stutters. “Eiji, my dear, are you able to hear me?”

“… _Ash?”_

Your voice is so weak it makes my heart twist in my chest, anxiety becomes my heartbeat’s lifeblood. “Yes, yes!” I bring you close, tears seeping from my eyes. “Oh, my darling, my _Eiji,_ I am so—so sorry, I should—I should not have—I should have found you sooner—”

“ _H-Hurts…”_ You hiccup, and I pull back. _“Ash, my wings—”_ Your words are lost in a sob.

“I know, darling,” I whisper, bringing a shawl I had half-completed around your shoulders to shield you from the cold. It doesn’t stop you from shaking. “I know.”

 _“I’m—”_ Cold wisps rise from your blue lips. _“I’m… it hurts…”_

“Okay, okay, darling.” I lift you up and bring you into my arms. Your lips are as blue as the sky, hidden just by that golden nose that hooks over your lips like a beak. “It’s okay, I’m here, I won’t let them get to you again.”

“ _My wings,_ ” you sob. _“I can’t live without my wings._ ”

“What do you mean?” My hand goes around your side, cradling you as close as I can. “Why would they clip your wings?”

“I tried—” You cough; I rub your back, and we both end up covered in blood. “I tried to tell them I wanted freedom. Before they tossed me down as punishment. I would make my way to them days later after I recovered, beg for forgiveness.”

“Freedom?” The word lodges in my throat. “Freedom from what?”

You rest your head on my shoulder, a small thing that you really are. “It’s mating season. They wanted to parade me around, to—to be a queen. An example of how to begin motherhood. I didn’t want that. I’m not a queen.” A beautiful, beautiful person that you are, it breaks my heart when you start to cry. “I just want to be me. You make me feel like me.”

“You’re not a queen,” I repeat, slowly. “You are Eiji. A man who, despite their best efforts, is very annoyingly curious, just like me.”

Your laugh is so _weak._ “I don’t know what to do now. I’m Fallen.”

“Fallen?”

“No better than a human. Maybe worse, with the feathers.”

The bleeding on your back begins to clot, somewhat, but the way you are clinging to me… _you really have just lost everything, haven’t you? Just… like me._

“I abandoned everything.”

Your sunset eyes widen, head snapping up to look at me. “Why? I thought—you said you were close to freedom, right?”

I shake my head. “No. I was leashed. I had to conform, to be what they wanted. I had a time limit on freedom—what kind of oxymoron is that?” I brush the bloodied feathers from your eyes. “They tossed you out the moment they found out you were different. I ran because they would choke my own individuality from me.”

“ _Ash—"_

I hug you tighter. “Stay with me. It doesn’t have to be forever. It doesn’t have to be for long. I just need someone to be with me right now, and so do you.”

Very, very slowly, I feel your hands wind around my back. The gale winds battle against the roaring oceans; rolling waves intermingle with sea breezes on the beach, and we stay in our cave, holding each other until the sun goes down.

**Author's Note:**

> I think what I wrote in my critical commentary best applies here, but: "Ash and Eiji's experiences are very much a reflection on my own growing up as a queer individual – Ash conforms around him, counting down the days he can be ‘free’ – much like queer young adults going off to college, only to realise he is being caged by expectations of coming back; Eiji is distant, not willing to share his trauma of being rejected for being transgender, until the violent wing-clipping at the end means he has lost his connection to his family. "


End file.
